It is apparent at times in all our lives that we come to a cross-road. Often times we just indicate and continue, and yet at other times we stall in trepidation or confusion. My absence of late is due to this phenomenon and so to update and return I say:
My personal transformation and point of launch comes to me now like a rock off the overpass. While laying here in pain from being hit so hard, I am reminded of the works that I have studied to date within this new-found perception, like Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life, Dan Millman's The Way of the Peaceful Warrior and others.
Millman's book is supposedly a fictionalised version of his real-life experience with an urban mystic he calls Socrates. How much truth there is in his story I do not know, but I now know for sure that such people do indeed walk this earth. I have found such a person, a Spiritual Life Coach named Grant Watson, who is helping me beyond my wildest dreams, in much the same way that Socrates assisted Millman.
In essence, I am finding my own truth, my core self, and understanding how my life experiences have veiled me to that truth. I realise now how deluded and clouded much of my personality has been, including my writing in this medium. My writing will now have a greater personal integrity and be aligned to the Spiritual content and values of whatever I place here whether it be critiquing a movie or chatting to you about the events of my life as this blogger.
Stay tuned - my mentor says actions will speak louder.
62 comments:
You've joined a cult?
Good luck, man.
Derek, have a look at what Millman's book is about.
I look forward to following your journey mate
Hi Paul,
It's great that you're doing some self-exploration - as long as you keep following your own gut.
With the risk of sounding horribly sanctimonious and giving 'advice', if this person can help you, great - but your journey will continue beyond what they are teaching you now. You're the final arbiter of what's right for you.
Don't give your power to them, is all! Lecture over.
Cheers
Catherine
Paul, really great to see you back. Look forward to seeing what interesting directions your astute writing takes you.
Your a fool
Thanks guys for the kind words. Catherine, read my comment for Derek. Anonymous, more than you could possibly know.
The fact that your blogging "your life" surely is an indication that you're not living it? How does one do both? Also taking advice from a mentor indicates that you have given your power away. Are you now doing drugs? Such a dramatic change (so called "transformation"). A leopard does not change its spots!!!! I don't think I'm interested in your site anymore.
On the road to Damascus
Myself when young did eagerly frequent
Doctor and Saint, and heard great Argument
About it and about; but evermore
Came out by the same Door as in I went.
For many of us, we know in our hearts there is something beyond the ephemeral, and often in our search we find ourselves cheated. The biggest cheat is ego, and it was embarrassing to discover this. My path now is similar to Millman's, and the only one who can cheat me is me.
and the only one who can cheat me is me.
keep this to yourself or I'll be out of a job
What exactly is the role of a mentor? I remember a Seinfeld episode about it making jokes about mentors.
Don't you have family or friends who can help out? I saw a psychologist many years ago about an ongoing personal problem and I found them to be useless and, in the end, I turned to myself to get myself out of it. I think we only have ourselves in the end. Everyone else is too busy with their own lives to help out and while they say they care, they rarely ever do. Human beings have always been selfish. Nothing to be ashamed of, though.
Filmnut, I agree with your assessment of psychologists. My mentor is a master of psychology but it's his psychic insight that is able to use the various modalities to best effect.
IT'S A TRAP
how many psychologists do you need to change a light bulb? - only one but it’s got to really want to change.
At the end of the day it’s always up to the individual, people think therapists are going to change them somehow and are always disappointed.
Psychs are good sounding boards, however their medical model approach is reductionist and deterministic - they strive to fit the population into generic diagnoses and treatment disciplines according to therapeutic models which utterly miss the uniqueness of the individual and are largely devised for therapist comfort. If you have a good therapeutic relationship with a psychologist however, they can be helpful despite their limited clinical imperatives. The person who helped me the most was also a life coach Paul.
Are you coming south for Trash Humpers Uncle, or what?
I don't know yet Tumbles, it depends on the schedule. It's getting a release on DVD (limited VHS release too) in September anyway. If Godard's Film Socialisme miraculously gets screened, that's a different story.
So is that forum still going? Should I come back?
Hah, there hasn't been a post in months.
Tuesdays are still busy though.
I think you are brave to speak of the spiritual, and I applaud you for it! Many of us are responding to the beckoning energies right now, as their call is very strong. Our core selves are so light, and light-filled, without the millstone which our personalities and egos can be, and for myself, even though it can be painful and sometimes hard going, I'd much rather be living my truth, as the attendant congruence, clarity, pleasure, and authentic power make my heart sing. And hey, the more singing hearts the better eh, so welcome! :)
It's getting a release on DVD (limited VHS release too) in September anyway. If Godard's Film Socialisme miraculously gets screened, that's a different story.
I understand mate, I'd feel the same.
Humbly yours, HK
Sounds like an exciting time for you, Paul. Look forward to hearing more about where it takes you.
How old are you? Do you have any kids? Get your life together man!Too late for regrets. What is it that you want? Only you know that, regardless of what anyone says. The rest means you're gutless.
I sincerely wish you well.
Just hope your journey isn't costing you a mint.
Anon, I have been single for the past five years and it is the best thing ever after being in a long-term relationship. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want without having to consult anyone. I think in the end some people are better off being single than being in a relationship. They are just built differently and relationships don't work. Probably due to genetic makeup. Oh, the joy not to have arguments and being told what to do! I doubt I will ever have another long-term relationship ever again.
Thanks Al & Kim. Actually, it's not costing me a cent. In fact, my cost of living has drastically reduced as I reassess how I utilise all my energies.
yeah, whatever Paul, sorry to hear you have given yourself to this nonsense.
enjoyed reading your reviews, won't be so keen to read your spiritual musings, if I want to do that there are millions of such blogs on the web.
Moviebuff.
Moviebuff, when I get around to actually seeing a film - I have a lot of more important things to deal with right now - I will write from a perspective that you won't find anywhere but here.
Paul, well, I look forward to that. I'm just a bit concerned you may have lost the plot, as an athiest who escaped a cult years ago just concerned. Oh, are you going to the film festival this year?
I will, but not sure how many films I will see. I have a full pass, but will probably see one a day at most. I think film is an important medium, but it's taking backseat right now. I wish I'd kept a log of my experiences like Dan Millman did. If someone made a film out of it, you wouldn't believe it was real.
So what actually happened to you? Job loss? Family problems? Or were you just not happy with who you were and thought 'To hell with it! I'm going to shake things up!' They're all good reasons for the change - just would like to know...
What happened? I woke up one day, realised that my life is full of bullshit and it's time to get real. Nearly everyone on their death bed reviews their life with regrets - I don't want to be one of them.
Peolpe on your journey are usually ego driven and selfish. Remember regrets where the choices you made at the time, which I assume involved other people. I know you lost a son, perhaps you have learnt nothing? Sadly, you sound very lost. Paul, everyones life is a film, not just yours! I feel for your good family and the women who supported you unconditionally, let alone for your surviving children. As a past member of the Huri's you have regrets about that and so you will about your so called mentor. By the way he has no formal qualifications, do let's cut the BS banter.
Interesting conjecture. I'll take it on board.
Jesus Fucking Christ, drop everything -- FILM SOCIALISME is screening at MIFF.
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/arts/festivals-big-bang-for-small-bucks/story-e6frg8n6-1225888688553
You just need some time to yourself. You seem to always be surrounded by people. Take a vacation on your own without kids and family. The only solution is yourself and not a mentor. Spend a lot of time alone and you'll be fine.
Jesus Fucking Christ, drop everything -- FILM SOCIALISME is screening at MIFF.
Yea! AB/GT is coming to Melbourne - I'm happy for you
Assuming the past few Anonymous posts are by the same person (how about coming up with a pseudonym at least?) - sounds like you should be Paul's life coach. You seem to know exactly what's best for him.
Hmmm... well, I hope you find whatever you feel like you need to find. Good luck.
Just a question, are you on your death bed? Go to where the love is, real love. Don't let the people that love you suffer the same fate. Gook luck mate.
paul does this mean yr not doing your incredibly helpful MIFF general release list this year?
That's right, no time I'm afraid.
Another 'Anon'...
I gather that your following quote may now not quite reflect how you feel:
"Cinema is for me the most fantastic experience, the most important and complete art form, the opportunity to enter into another world and experience emotions that otherwise I wouldn't." (2008)
Don't forget your most favourite films, Paul. Surely your new values won't be so far removed from what you loved in the past?
Finally, just for interest, are you still aligned with the colour green?
Ever considered reading the Bible? I'm sure you'll find what you need there, many do. Just another form of what you are already doing anyway, another perspective.
Any tips for how someone else might go about collating the general release information?
I recall you mentioned you took a note of the distributers and sent them each a standard letter or email.
Are there any easier steps involved... would any lists on distributor websites of film/dvd releases give us similar level of information (if they exist).
JH, in the program guide, look at the distributor. If there's a local one attached, it may get a cinema or DVD release. With Madman, it's most often the latter. And yes, email each distributor (contact details via their website) and ask for release dates. I also got info from other enthusiasts online.
Anon, thanks for taking an interest in my old posts. They were relevant then, and remain so to a lesser extent now.
thx Paul.
Hi Paul,
Is your mentor in any way either a) making a living from this advice or b) associated with any kind of organised group devoted to their teachings? If so, in the wise words of Admiral Ackbar: It's a Trap!
I'm pretty cynical about even the benign self-helpers. Pretty much all that's worthwhile can be summarised in one sentence: focus your time and attention on those who love you and make you happy.
All else is fluff.
Stephen, the answer to both is no, but I don't have a problem with organised teachings or making a living from good advice. Fuck knows we live in a society with no shortage of people who make a living from giving bad advice.
As an addendum, Stephen, it's sad that you should feel so cynical. I thought for a long time that the 'family of man' is a crock of shit, but am happy to report that it's not.
“After the cinema, nothing surprises you. Anything can happen.” Alan Renais
Paul,
Interesting that your spiritual life coach has "psychic insight" - that doesn't strike me as entirely plausible - or are you now in a world where anything is plausible?
And, were you previously a bit dismissive of 'spirituality'?
And, having wished you'd kept a log of your experiences, are you now doing so? And why not publish a daily 50 words to help others?
Sincerely, good luck to you and yours - and if you've found enlightenment, I'm not a little jealous.
Dr_Rudi, I don't 'get' what you mean by 'entirely plausible' because spirituality is something that has always been there on one level or another. I believe that we are all spirit having a human experience and therefore I am now remembering who I really am. As for enlightenment, it is part of all our journey and not of mine alone.
who is this person I see making narky comments on so many blogs named 'anonymous'. What sort of a user name is that anyway? Just came across your blog today, and read this page and the description of ACMI's five favourite films night focusing on David Stratton. Sooo interesting - I would love to see a cut of the two occasions they had to stop because Margaret boiled over! Ingmar Bergman, Smiles on a Summer Night is a priceless gem. Spirituality and filmmaking never went together anyway did they?
Thanks for dropping by crosbeee. Bergman explores spirituality overtly (and not-so-overtly sometimes) but many films do, too. People might be surprised how much mainstream films, like those of Spielberg and Cameron, tap into alternate realities that might not be just fiction.
Spirituality is universal, I believe - it's the human experience that is artificial, at least that which is dominated by the ego.
This blog has turned into the boring, go watch some films, Paul. And talk about them, so we can talk about them.
Please?
Spiritually is universal, so what makes your experience more significant to all others? The answer is nothing, get on with your life and move on. My bet is the so called people who are helping you are unemployed, have health issues, estranged from family and generally reject most things mainstream ie think themselves different, as it seems you now do. Mid life crisis perhaps or just ego? It makes me sick to constantly here spin, "in this body" etc. Yeah, well we all have a body! Your spiritual experience is no different to anyone elses. Careful not to think yourself different just because you are having a crisis...and you are clearly having a crisis. This might be your biggest regret!
Just like you said, Crosbeee.
We all have a crisis, and it's the differential between our driver's licence and our true self. Our problem is that we believe we are the person on our licence.
echoing DMK, is this still melb film blog? Great that your having positive movement in your life Paul. However, if your not going to blog about movies anymore is there any reason for us to keep checking in? MIFF has just passed, one of the most important film events in Melbourne and not even a peep from you yet about it Paul..
"actions speak louder", wheres the action?
Chris, when I can.
RIP Paul Martin 1959-2010
Don't lament me too much. Whatever is dead wasn't worth knowing.
Hi Paul hope you're going ok. To some of the thoughtless fools in the comments here, suggest you have a further look back at Paul's post.
While it's true blogging can be an outlet perhaps for an unauthentic life, Paul is blogging with his real name. I've blogged in the past but with the cover of a username. After 100 blogs I finally ran out of steam.
Whatever personal crisis, change of direction, Paul might be having, perhaps a decent rest is one of them? Honestly Paul I don't know how you've get up seeing the number of films you do a week and then writing about them.
For me it's the Italian Film festival at the moment. Generally go to French, German, Italian and the Swedish one (Astor Theatre some years) if they are about. But this year did not make any of the German films, one French and yesterday "10 Winters" at the Brighton Bay. Review of that on www.imdb.com pending their approval. Sadly 10 Winters felt that long.
I've come to the conclusion I like romantic, escapist films if you like. A bit like holidays I'm looking for the same experience but with separate films. My tastes vary wildly with Pauls
Paul sorry if I'm writing this with you in the 3rd person. Enjoy your sabitical, break, total break or whatever you're doing. You don't really owe readers of this blog anything
Cheers John
Thanks for your thoughtful comments, John. To tell you the truth, I don't know if it is a sabbatical or what. I'll write here if and when I feel I have something worth saying.
Post a Comment